A few years back, in a mindless stupor, I had profiles of the Golden Girls tattooed on my lower back. Though I still watch and appreciate, what sometimes feels like season-long, nightly reruns on the Hallmark Channel, I have regretted getting the tattoo. As I’ve aged, the skin of my lower back has lost tautness and is showered in...
read moreJesse and I have an unusual friendship – one that requires a fiery tongue and a layer of hard shell. Our other friends and, sometimes, mere strangers look at us like we either hate each other or have it bad for each other. Neither is true … we simply find verbally bashing each other a relaxing pastime. Yes, sometimes it can...
read moreLast week I had decided to jump “on the wagon,” as the saying goes; not only because my memory is slipping like an Al Gaeda cell through airport security, but also because my belly has ballooned the size of a seven-month pregnant lady’s. My newly enacted regiment entails zero ounces of alcohol for 60 days to start,...
read moreEvery Christmas Eve for the last several years, Geoff and Gregory host a party for their friends. And every Christmas Day, Geoff and Gregory and their friends, wake up wih a few less brain cells. I was trying to convince myself, while driving to their house, that I would not drink that much this year. But it was a futile attempt; by...
read moreIf you remember, I had vowed a couple months ago that I would break up with Mr. Fag Stag on his Facebook Wall if he even hinted to us having a three-way with a woman … well, he beat me to the punch. See, I hadn’t heard from him for a few days, so I decided to send him a message on Facebook; when I went to his page, there was...
read moreSweet bejesus it’s hard getting old! Not that I honestly believe being 40 is old, it’s just that I’ve just recently noticed changes to both my physical appearance as well as my internal workings. For example, the other day I was horrified by the fact I had to pluck my eyebrows when I noticed I was starting to look like Oscar...
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