I don’t want to have to give you the birdie, so get your registration done for this fabulous, albeit frustrating game. Birdie is the only golf term I know, so I looked up more and I have decided this sport to be quite erotic: ball-washer, banana-ball, sandbagger, hole-in-one (Okay, I also knew that one), bump and run, handsy, sweet-spot, dimples, topped, whiff, foursomes and zinger. Who wouldn’t love it!
7Sunday — Utah Pride Golf Classic
Stonebridge Golf Course, 4415 Links Dr., West Valley City, 7am. Registration $95 through Aug. 28, $125 thereafter (includes breakfast), utahpride.org
There’s a little something for every homo this month in concerts; from Sir Elton (for those born when the Earth was still flat) to Katy Perry (for those twinks born …. well, seems like yesterday) to two somewhat unknowns Perfume Genius and La Roux (for those adrogynes and genderqueers born with best of both worlds).
19Friday — Elton John
Maverik Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr., West Valley City, 8pm. Tickets $26-136, maverikcenter.com
26Friday — Perfume Genius
The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8pm. Tickets $12-14, 24tix.com
— La Roux
In The Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 6pm. Tickets $22-27, 24tix.com
29Monday — Katy Perry with Tegan and Sara
Energy Solutions Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 7pm. Tickets $29.50-100.50, smithtix.com
Samba Frogo and Odyssey Dance Theatre bring stylish programs to the stage this month. SF’s Axe (aw-shay) is an interactive fire-licked Brazilian dance and folklore. ODT’s annual staple of murder, mayhem and bloody hi-jinks is just fabulously dreadful.
19Friday — Axe
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center 138 W. 300 South, 7pm, through tomorrow. Tickets $20, arttix.org
26Friday — Thriller!
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, times vary, through Oct. 5. Tickets $25-48, egyptiantheatrecompany.org
The first flick I’m paying adage to the biggest wino I know, Mr. Michael Erin Verde (his name has been changed for confidentiality). It’s a film about sommeliers (which I thought were circus folk, who knew) and this one-night screening is a fundraiser for the One Man Foundation, a one-man show creating fundraising appeals for small nonprofits struggling to raise money. The second flick is by openly gay director/screenwriter Ira Sachs and premiered at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. It’s about an older gay couple (John Lithgow and Alfred Molina) who struggle to find housing after one is fired from his teaching job.
18Thursday — Somm
The Prospector, 2175 Sidewinder Dr., Park City, 7pm. Tickets $30 (includes a wine and cocktail tasting), parkcityfilmseries.com
26Friday — Love is Strange
Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org
Sister Dottie’s raising money for the reelection of Utah District Attorney Sim Gill…if anyone can do it, that old bat can. It will easier than finding pussy willows, Dottie!
14Sunday — Sister Dottie S. Dixon: Thinks Sim’s Just Super!
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center 138 W. 300 South, 6pm. Tickets $100 0r VIP (includes pre-show reception) $250, arttix.org
Where’s the summer gone??!!? It’s sucks getting older, time just flies by. On a good note though, it’s theatre season and starting it off are five very different and fabulous shows. From young overachievers to a doomed wedding set in the Roaring ‘20s to women’s suffrage to an epic story about slavery to get-rich-quick schemes, the start of the 2014-15 season will be musical, hilarious, heartbreaking and larger-than-life.
11Thursday — The Color Purple
Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center 138 W. 300 South, 8pm, through Sept. 27. Tickets $20, arttix.org
12Friday — The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, times vary, through Sept. 27. Tickets $38-64, pioneertheatre.org
— The Producers
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, times vary, through Sept. 21. Tickets $35-60, egyptiantheatrecompany.org
19Friday — Blue Stockings
Babcock Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, 7:30pm, through Sept. 28. Tickets $8.50-18, kingtix.com
23Tuesday — Nice Work If You Can Get It
Capitol Theatre, 50 W, 200 South, through Sept. 28, times vary. Tickets TBA, arttix.org