Meet. Date. Engagement. Announcement. Marriage. Marriages. Weddings. Gifts. Guests. Cake. Champagne. Celebrations. Equality. With marriage equality comes so much joy and happiness, but when you pick up one end of that stick, you also pick up the other. On the other end of that stick is potential divorce. Being a huge fan of Tammy Wynette her famous lyrics come directly to mind.
“Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today
Me and little J-O-E will be goin’ away
I love you both and it will be pure H-E double L for me
Oh, I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E.”
Inevitability says it must be so. Percentages for successful gay marriage are higher, stats prove we are doing much better than our straight counterparts, but time is also the main factor in both directions.
We’ve only had the equality to marry for a few short years as compared to straights, but we also have been partnered, living together, in love, waiting, longing for the freedom to marry. Time factors in on both counts. Divorce is like losing a job, only possibly 1,000 times worse. I’ve done it in the straight world and it was one of, if not the biggest challenge of my life. I am married again—this time in the gay world, and I am with the love of my life. Lucky me. Marriage can still be challenging, the challenges are the same for all humans. Being queer we do however face many differences in our marriages, albeit more similarities with all who are married, partnered, or in a relationship.
Since this QSaltLake edition is dedicated to love and marriage, I felt the need to stay optimistic, positive and celebratory, so I’ll humbly offer some tips I personally feel will enhance and increase the chance for a successful queer marriage.
Nietzsche said it best.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
Go for the friendship, make it alive, make it real, make it indestructible. Hope I didn’t overdo on the advice — I truly want queer marriage to roar. Here’s to your married couple roar.
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