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Tony’s Gay Agenda

ANNUAL EVENTS

The Parkites are at it again. Nether a year goes by that they can’t find a reason to satirize themselves … and no, that’s not a euphemism! But don’t beg to get in, they need the mula to upkeep Justin Bieber’s new home.

22Friday — Park City Follies

Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through May 1. Tickets $29-45, egyptiantheatrecompany.com
CONCERTS

Lady Gaga’s doppleganger hits the Utah stage this month … and no, I don’t mean Gene Geiber. If you don’t know Wiki, she runs in a circle with Tay Tay, KP and the Lorde. Damn I wish I was Ellie, I just run continuously in tiny circles with my shadow.

Rihanna don’t wanna be baptized Momo-anna but she’s willing to step on sacred ground … and no, I don’t mean Try-Angles. If you don’t know Wiki, she’s a Barbarian. Oh, wait … Barbadian!! Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Chris Brown?

13Wednesday — Ellie Goulding

Maverik Center, 3200 Decker Lake Dr, WVC, 7pm. Tickets $29.50-59.50, smithstix.com

27Wednesday — Rihanna

Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 S. Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets $27.50-123, smithstix.com

 

DANCE

Screw the groundhog, you know Spring has sprung when the dancers come out of hibernation. Rested, and full of nuts … wait, is that what groundhogs hoard? I mean I d0, but then again the nuts I collect have a masculine name attached to them. Anyhoo, it’s all about SALT, Squatters, Samba, Salt Lake Vocal Artists and Sergei. To learn more visit the website noted … or Wiki!

1Friday — SALT in Concert

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

7Thursday — Spring Season

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3. Tickets $35, artsaltlake.org

— Conexao (Connection)

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

14Thursday — Revere

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 16. Tickets $30, artsaltlake.org

15Friday — The Nijinksy Revolution

Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Apr. 23. Tickets $19-87, artsaltlake.org

 

MOVIES

Okay. there’s probably not much gayness about this movie because Channing Tatum isn’t in it, but what the hell, Melissa McCarthy can hoard my nuts any day. Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Ben Falcone?

8Friday — The Boss

Theaters and times vary, through … depends on how good it is. Tickets $6.75-9.25.

 

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

Drag King Paula and Drag Queen RuPaul (by the way, one in the same!) open and close this month of homonicity (fuck off, it’s a Wiki word!) in Salt Lake. In between you will “have the time of your life” at Utah Symphony’s Let’s Dance! But even more so with Zachary Quinto … trust me, he’s the ultimate voyage. Just sayin’!

1Friday — Paula Poundstone

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm. Tickets $46, artsaltlake.org

22Friday — Let’s Dance!

Abravanel Hall, 123 S. Temple, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $18-64, artsaltlake.org

29Friday — Star Trek: The Ultimate Voyage

Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, 8pm. Tickets $45-65, kingtix.com

30Saturday — RuPaul’s Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons

The Depot, 400 S. Temple, 9pm. Tickets $37.50, 21+ only, smithstix.com
THEATRE

When I heard this play by a Utah playwright was about politics, I thought Remington was Bernie Sanders and Weasel was Donald Trump, but it turns out that it’s about college politics, so Remington I guess is Annalise Keating and Weasel is Leslie Graham. Those betches have more nuts than I do (not Bernie and Donald Dumb Ass).

22Friday — Remington and Weasel

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through May 7. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

 

UPCOMING EVENTS

 

May 2, Violent Femmes, The Depot, smithstix.com

June 3, The Cure, Maverik Center, smithstix.com

June 29, Janet Jackson, Vivint Smart Home Arena, smithstix.com

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Tony Hobday

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