There’s something about a hotel room that makes you want to get frisky. From the ultra-plush mattress to on-demand XXX movies – assuming they have same-sex options (though I prefer straight porn myself) – a quick getaway in a decked-out suite is as much about relaxation as it is fulfilling your adult desires. Here are seven reasons why hotel sex is better than bangin’ at home.
- Voyeurism heightens the experience
The first thing I think when I walk into a hotel room with floor-to-ceiling windows, or – better yet – a balcony is, That’s where I’m gonna fuck. For starters, at least. I love the idea of a hot body pressed against the spotless glass, both of us enchanted by the dancing city lights below, or taking the activity outside the sliding doors to bend that boy over a sturdy railing (Hello, Vegas!). Lights out at night, nobody can see what we’re doing, but I’ve let the sun shine where it usually doesn’t on occasion. Just make sure none of your naughty bits are in full view of anyone nearby; there are plenty of prudes out there who will call your buff.
- Get it on loud and proud
“Think they can hear us?” If you haven’t asked that question about your next-door hotel neighbors out loud, you’ve definitely thought it – and the answer is yes. Yes, your neighbors can hear you, and they’re probably just as turned on by listening to your pleasure as you are by the idea of their ear to the wall. If you have to keep your moans and groans to a dull roar at home for one reason or another, now’s your chance to raise the roof. Sing your partner’s praises at the top of your lungs and give the whole floor something to tweet about.
- They have industrial bleach for the sheets
Sex is messy, which is why at home I still fuck fratboy style and put a towel down. All bets are off at the hotel, however, because it’s not me who has to go up and down the stairs every other day because my Wamsuttas are covered in too much splooge to sleep on. Dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.
- Your hotel room is a child- and pet-free zone
First thing I do when I get to my room? Put the “Do not disturb sign” on the handle, and that’s generally where it hangs for the duration of my stay. Because there’s a certain measure of fulfillment knowing that my smash sesh is focused without any chance of interruption. No children bursting into the room, no animal in the corner giving you the side-eye for hittin’ his best friend from the back. Just you and your bang buddy, together at last.
- New furniture provides new positions and angles
Sure, spreading those legs in bed is fantastic – but it’s even better on a chaise or a desk or a bench in the shower. (Check out the new Hotel LeVeque in Columbus, Ohio, to take advantage of the latter). Various furniture you may not have at home become props for your sexcapades to help you shake things up even more. Rewrite the Kama Sutra, why dontcha.
- So what if you break the bed
Hey, it happens, but they don’t need to know how – and you don’t have to pay for it. (Also – high-five, sexpert!)
- Post. Sex. Room. Service.
Gettin’ that good-good works up an appetite – if you’re doing it right, anyway – but nobody wants to fry up bacon naked (and nobody should!). Load up on the protein and carbs, replenish your fluids, and have it all delivered directly to your room right after your workout. Besides, you’ll need all the energy you can get for round two. Give the attendant a tip – but just the tip.