By Ryan Haymore
So it finally reached that point where the breakup was imminent and now what? You had your tearful severance and seemingly said goodbye to everything you had known for as long as you two had been together. It seems like your heart is swollen because it cannot take on anymore fracture. Your life seems to be devoid of something that your heart dares to not give any more attention. It’s okay. This is the fracture, the pain and the reality that you must wade through; however, there’s a joy in this sort of goodbye. There’s happiness between those separating segments of what you thought would be yours forever.
When the pain seems to scream from within the chasms of your broken heart, remember the beauty that you lament losing, then, look at it with pride. Look at that love and former relationship as an empire that has met its diplomatic end; there still remains so many beautiful structures and things you both built with love — those things are not worthless. It’s okay to forget the things that were remiss. It’s all right to forgive those fights that never felt resolved. But what you two should do now is let the good outlive the bad. Let the positives outshine the negatives, and allow the lingering positivity to give you something to hold on to in the future.
When my ex-fiance and I were no more we had one last phone call. That call was eerily tearless, but it was painfully (yet blissfully) full of emotions. We decided that our love didn’t have to die but would live on as a token from the past that we had indeed found love at some point. Granted, this love wasn’t the one we both needed, nor did it last us the rest of our lives; however, we let what we built become a memorandum to us that love exists. I look back now and smile at the former loves that I and some wonderful people built. I am proud of those loves I helped build.
If that’s all an ending relationship can do, then I say let it fuel you and inspire you. Let that love dismiss itself from fruition and enter your heart’s memory bank to use as a guide to, and for, your next love adventure. Don’t forget what the relationship taught you.
You found love. Love was yours, and you will have love again. Unfortunately, you lost that love in some regard. But just because it is inactive doesn’t debunk the veracity of it being real, present and very much yours. Maybe the next time you find love it will see you throughout your life, or maybe not. Regardless, your heart will heal. You will find love again. Don’t shy away from love just because of the hurt — the hurtful part is still beautiful, blissful and full of memories. When you forget just how worth it you are to make love like that again, remember that you still have permission to wrap yourself in those thoughts of what you have made. Love is a constant action in this world and behaves like a tangible organism — it will move, grow and shrink.