Becoming baby ready
Over the nearly 16 years of writing this column, I’ve spoken with some amazing people. There have been other LGBTQ+ parents, the parents of queer kids, family experts, and even politicians. In all those cases, I’ve asked the questions.
Then I heard from Canadian Sam Leeson, who, with her wife, has three kids. Nothing overly remarkable about that, but Sam is dedicated to helping other queer people navigate the trials and tribulations of becoming parents – while also offering advice and help to those of us who are already called mom and dad. That’s why during Pride nearly two years ago, she launched the podcast becoming babyReady.
In a role reversal, I was incredibly honored to answer the questions when she kindly asked me to appear on the show last January. But you know me, I like to be in charge, so we flipped the script, and this time I interviewed her!
What was the motivation to start becoming babyReady?
It felt like everyone knows where to buy diapers, baby food, clothes, and furniture, but there didn’t seem to be anywhere for Queer people to find the answers that they’d need in order to become parents. As a birth worker for 25+ years, I know that there is an inordinate amount of misinformation passed around in the family creation realm. I wanted there to be a reliable resource for people who wanted more information about family creation.
What are the biggest misconceptions LGBTQ+ people have about parenthood?
That it’s unattainable. There are a surprising number of organizations and insurance companies that strive every day to do what they can to assist with this process. It’s really just a matter of knowing where to go to look for the resources that are there.
Besides the podcast, what else do you do?
When it comes to family creation, the question really is, what don’t I do? I offer fertility awareness coaching. I connect hopeful parents with a variety of agencies in their geographic area (from surrogacy agencies to donor portals, fertility clinics, adoption agencies, and more). I have written and facilitated curriculums for expectant Queer parents looking for prenatal education classes, and/or newborn parenting classes. I also offer parenting coaching to individuals and families who have children from infancy through the teen years.
What are some of the common themes you hear on the show?
The best theme that I hear is that no matter how much it has cost, no matter how much time it has taken, no matter how many hoops needed to have been jumped through, there isn’t anything in the world these parents wouldn’t do over and over and over again to have the family that they have now. ALL of them are forever grateful.
What advice would you give LGBTQ+ couples thinking about becoming parents?
First, don’t let anyone make you feel as though you are not as deserving as anyone else. Secondly, no one on this planet will love this child as much as you.
What about for a single LGBTQ+ person?
Do what you can to set up your community of support before you begin the process. Have at least one person who you trust to attend appointments with you so that both of you can hear the information and process it together. You are remarkable for doing this as a solo parent and you deserve to have people to lean on when you need it.
To learn more about everything Sam can help you with and to listen to the podcast (including the episode featuring ME!) visit www.babyREADY.info where you’ll also find hyperlinks to her social media options.
