Happy Father’s Day, dumbass

This past Father’s Day, I was scrolling through my social media when I saw a posting from an organization that advocates for electing progressive politicians. It was a photo of a young man next to a homemade sign thanking his gay dads for adopting him and expressing his love for them. I found it very touching.

I don’t follow this group, so the site’s algorithm determined that I’m a progressive voter, I’m gay, and I’m a dad. I saw it as a nice little Father’s Day gift from the universe. As a sign of my appreciation, I commented on the post. I simply mentioned that after wishing us a happy Father’s Day, our oldest added a very thoughtful “thanks for being my dads.”

Now, I usually know better than to put myself in the cross hairs of people who feel confident enough to say something negative to total strangers, but I did it anyway. This is what those compelled to flaunt their ignorance and homophobia had to say about a son expressing his love for his two dads.

Naturally, there were the grotesque innuendoes that we participated in horrific activities with our sons.  One guy opined, “It’s always the boys.” Never mind that we didn’t ask for sons, or that girls are 5 times more likely to be abused than boys, and by perpetrators disproportionately straight.

Then there was the lady who sent me a link with information on how Jesus could cure me of my homosexuality. Beyond the fact that nearly 30 states and over 100 municipalities around the country have banned the incredibly harmful practice of conversion therapy, imagine the uproar that would’ve ensued had the roles been reversed, and on Mother’s Day, I offered her a link to resources about becoming a lesbian?

Probably one of the strangest comments came from a guy who condescendingly argued that I need to study science. With all of the shopping and adult content available online, people forget that the original purpose of the internet was for scientists to share data and research. The problem is that it’s now populated with all kinds of so-called “science” – like this guy’s study claiming gay men have female brains. I don’t know if lesbian women have dude brains; I didn’t read the study.

But perhaps my favorite comment was the shortest. Some guy simply called me a dumbass. Now, honestly, I can’t dispute that accusation. I mean, I’ve been called one plenty of times in the past, so there must be some degree of truth to it. Why exactly my comment about our son thanking us for being his dads elicited such a barb remains a mystery.

I’m secure enough in myself not to give much credence to internet trolls. I really don’t care what they think about me as a father, especially since they’ve never met me nor seen me in a parental role. But we currently live in increasingly divisive and dangerous times for LGBTQ+ people, especially for queer parents. 

You may remember that I’ve written for the national publication Gay Parent Magazine. Recently, their Facebook account was hijacked by some pretty aggressive homophobes. These creeps started posting incredibly hateful remarks about LGBTQ+ parents on the page, then removed it completely. (You can read what happened in QSaltLake.) The magazine’s publisher, Angeline Acain, will not be cowed. She’s created a new profile, Gay Parent Magazine-original, follow it!

In spite of a handful of wackos, my comment about the posting was well received – over 100 people supported it. What they were really supporting is a kid who’s grateful for his two dads, even if one of them is a dumbass.